The idea of fun
by odt
Summary: the title says it all. Pranks... That's all I'm gonna say.
1. SGA1

**Here we are... I haven't written anything for a looonnng while and although I just started this afternoon and it's not april fools day, let's just enjoy...**

**I do not own any of them. I wish I did, just like everybody else but I can only dream that one day... maybe... **

**Rated T just to be safe. Please R&R...**

**The idea of "fun" can become very different from one person to another.**

**First, you have Ronon Dex. His idea of "fun", is to kick John Sheppard's ass in the gym, creating games just to kick his butt. Now, it can be anyone, really, but John is on the Top Five list...**

**Then, you have Teyla Emmagan. You wouldn't suspect it, but I believe she can be pretty vicious when she wants to. She loves kicking Ronon Dex's ass. And, it's good for her ego, you know, the whole macho thing about men being stronger than women and all that kind of sh... stuff. Then, there's kicking John's cute derrière too... But, what else can she do? I guess you'll just have to wait.**

**After Teyla and Ronon, you've got John Sheppard. He likes to play darts with the pictures of his less favorite people. That includes Steven Caldwell and Dr Kavanagh (§). If he could only have a picture of Kolya, then his collection would be complete. So whenever he'd play darts without a pic, you could be sure that he'd be imagining the Genii buffoon!**

**Now, let's talk about Doctor Rodney Mckay... If you ever asked him what his idea of fun could be, he'd probably tell you that, ****you**** may have time to "have fun", but he, on the other hand, being the genius in two galaxies and head of a group of so-called scientists (Ah! They're a bunch of speaking and breathing and walking idiots!), he could NEVER have time to "have fun". That's is, if you could get him on a good day when you asked. If not, I feel sorry for you...**

**This is SGA-1, the flag team. You know, the one that always gets head first into trouble... A laid back military guy, a crazy scientist, a babacool, greenpeace warrior (if that could even exist) and a cave man!**

**(§) this is a reference to my french fic: "voila ce qui arrive quand on se fait chier" or "here's what happens when you get bored out of your mind"**


	2. the others

**I hope you guys enjoy this one, the story will "take off" in the next chapter, I just wanted to set everything given that this story will be about those characters.**

**Same, again, I do not own any of them... blablabla... Thank you.**

**What about the others?**

**The others... Well, that includes Dr Elizabeth Weir, Dr Carson Beckett, Dr Radek Zelenka and Major Evan Lorne... Now let us start with these people...**

**Dr Weir, ask someone and that person, if it's not Dr Kavanagh, will tell you that she's a very nice woman, considerate, compassionate, yadda yadda yadda... Yes, we all know she's very gentle and kind, except when faced with a John Sheppard playing darts with a picture of the Deadalus' commander! Duh! Anyway, she has wits, she's strong and that's what matters in our story. She also likes to play solitaire on her computer... A tech-guy swears that he saw her with Steven Caldwell late at night in her office once... That makes me wonder: could she really be so... pristine? C'mon, she has to have a dark side!**

**Dr Beckett, what can I say? He's the nice scottish man of the infermary that makes everything right. He wears his heart on his sleeve,( translated in English, the French version is: he has his heart on his hand...lol). But, he's a doctor and when you say that word( meaning a physician) you think biiiiggg needles( taking liters and liters of blood from your poor body) and shots on your nice little butt... I swear this man is a vampire! Yet, what else is there to know??? I wonder...**

**Dr Zelenka... The only scientist who actually HAS a brain, Rodney Mckay would say. And it's all true. He is clever and funny, especially when he starts speaking Czech. He's nice to other people, unlike Mckay, he never looks down on you, unlike Mckay, and he's never condesending, unlike... Argh! Stop it already!**

**-Aiight.**

**Whatever, even if he's so nice, there is something we can find about him, right? I mean, he's gotta have a dark side! Just like the others...**

**And finally, the last but not the least, Major Lorne! Any woman on Atlantis will tell you that he's nice, laid back, cute (they would actually dool and say "drop dead gorgeous" or "dip him in chocolate and eat him gorgeous"), and so funny... Yes, I believe that is a pretty good assumption, especially the cute part (hey, I'm just a lonely woman... lol), but still, just like all of the above he has kinks... And this nice guy can be quite the devil: you'll just have to wait and see!**

**Thank you and please read and review!**


	3. How it all started

**It was one of these days, you know, when there is just NOTHING to do... Sure, Dr Mckay could just go to the labs and berate a few scientists, just for the fun it... But seeing his team so down and left out made him wonder if there was something, hell, anything he could do for them...**

**-Ya know, said Sheppard, I really hate it when we have nothing to do... I mean, Elizabeth must have something for us to do... Like a mission, training some people... Hell, anything!**

**-I agree, it is quite calm, I wonder if there is anything we, as a team, could do... Rodney do you have any idea... started Teyla**

**-Nope, sorry, I guess I could go to the labs...**

**-Hey! where is your sense of solidarity! You're gonna leave us like this, c'mon!**

**-yeah, suffer with us, said Ronon...**

**-Okay, okay, I'll see what I can do, said the scientist, but no promises!**

**And so the morning went on... Ever so boring... They decided at some point to go to the TV room, watch a movie, but some people were already there, women, watching a chick flick movie... Teyla, being a woman, wanted to join them, but was called back by her team "where's your sense of solidarity?", so she chose to stay with them. After all, they could surely find something to do? Four brains working on the problem, surely they could do it?**

**But it wasn't until lunch time that one of them found something... Guess who?**

* * *

**Lunch time, one of the times when the mess hall is full... You can see all kinds of people... One thing stays constant though: it's military against scientists... You know, the soldier boys will always be at one table, the geeks at another... Only the official teams (the ones that actually get to go through the gate!) are together at one table mixing geeks and soldiers. There, take a look, Major Lorne's team is there, with Lieutenant Laura Cadman, another soldier boy and Dr Parrish, the bottanist. Perfect example! Then there is our team! The flag Team, SGA-1. The jackass team is more like it! But all in all, you can see the two groups (geeks vs soldiers) trying to distance themselves from the other...**

**And that is when Doctor Rodney Mckay found The Idea! Turning to his team, a mischievous glint in his blue eyes, a knowing smirk plastered on his face, he started:**

**-How about we play with people?**

**Sheppard, Ronon and Teyla just looked at him clueless... Until understanding dawned on John... A smile full of mischief (of course) made its way to his eyes...**

**-You mean, pranks? as in "april fool's day" in Atlantis?**

**-What's "april fool's day"? asked Ronon.**

**-It's the day when people play tricks and pranks on people... It's actually fun, Mckay, you're a ginius!**

**-I already knew that! he said, crossing his arms, but thanks for saying it over an' over.**

**Now, they had a plan... They just needed to find who to play with and with what? Who would be their first victim? What would they do to him, or her?**


	4. Getting to it

**-Okay, so everybody knows what they have to do? We don't need to go over it again?**

**A general shake of heads. Perfect. So the game was on.**

**John and Ronon got up, taking their trays with them and went over to major Lorne's table.**

**-Sir? asked the latter**

**-At ease major. I wanted to know what you were doing this afternoon.**

**-Uh I was gonna take my team and explore some parts of the city, along with Dr Zelenka, on Dr Weir's orders.**

**-Ok, well you kids have fun, said Sheppard as he got up.**

**-Thanks sir, replied Lorne.

* * *

**

**In the coridor, the jackass team met and Sheppard told Rodney about Zelenka and Lorne's exploration of the city.**

**-That's great! That way, Radek won't be there when...**

**-Yeah, but what about Lorne's quarters, do you know where they are? asked Ronon, looking at Mckay.**

**-Do I look like I'm dating major Lorne? No I don't know where they are. Yet. I'll go in my labs and check it out.**

**-Right, well, you do that and I am going to wait in the TV room.**

**They all started to go their separate ways when John realized something.**

**-Hang on a minute, we're gonna need an alibi, just in case we're discovered. You hought about that?**

**-We'll ... just say that we were in the TV room, replied Teyla. No one will know.**

**-Yup, good plan. Okay kids, let's do this.

* * *

**

**Half an hour later, Rodney had the information he needed. Leaving his lab, he bumped into someone:**

**-would you look where you're going?**

**-Sorry doc, replied a sheppish Major Lorne.**

**-Oh, it's you... What are you doing here?**

**-I was coming to get Dr Zelenka, we're going to explore the city, and he's coming with us, you don't remember? You're the one who decided who'd go.**

**-I'm head of science major, which means that I have to do almost everything to get this city running, so no, sometimes I forget things, because I have more important things to do! Now if you'll excuse me, I have something else very important that I need to do so I'll take my leave.**

**Walking away, Rodney Mckay was smiling evilly... He would never see it coming... Ha!

* * *

**

**Back in the TV room, Rodney came in, grinning from ear to ear.**

**-I got it, he whispered.**

**-Great, now let's wait until we know for sure that they're gone. We'll wait here, said John.**

**And for 45 minutes they stayed there, watching The Transporter, with Jason Statham rearning appreciative looks from Teyla, incredulous ones from Ronon.**

**-He's a good fighter, he said, why isn't he here on Atlantis?**

**-It's a movie Ronon, said Rodney, he's just an actor, and he doesn't have the security clearance anyway.**

**-Yeah, but still, he's good, the deep voice said.**

**-Ok people, let's head out. Rodney, Teyla, you go to Lorne's quarters and get what we need. Ronon and I will wait for you in the corridor that leads to Radek's quarters, you have 15 minutes.

* * *

**

**30 minutes later, everything was ready. Getting the door open to Radek's quarters wasn't easy but Rodney finally did open them, the rest only took 5 minutes tops.**

**-We're all set, let's get back to the TV room...**

**And so it all really started...**


	5. Do you like this color?

**Hello everyone, I've been a very bad girl, I know. I've been writing this chapter and another story... called: Let me look at you. Sorry it took so long. ****Anyway, I still don't own them. Hope you enjoy! And MERRY CHRISTMAS JOYEUX NOËL FELIZ NAVIDAD whatever...**

* * *

**At some point in the afternoon, Major Lorne's team came back pretty yucky... Indeed, the section they were checking turned out to be Atlantis' garbage chute. Doctor Zelenka was getting some weird readings so, of course, they decided to go and have a look. Unfortunately, as soon as they entered, they were showered with various items, which will not be listed... You really don't want to know what hit'em...**

**Suffice it to say that, after such a shower, your pride beaten,there is just one thing you wanna do: S-H-O-W-E-R ! You know, lots of hot water, lots of soap, shampoo...Or maybe you just want to kill someone, say, the one who sent you on this mission. **

**Radek Zelenka and Evan Lorne wanted to do BOTH.**

**-Allright people, let's get this done quickly, and then we can all go back home, shower and feel like human beings again, said the Major.**

**All agreed, but one person added:**

**-Mckay is going to pay for that, I'm sure he knew...**

**-Oh yeah? Howd'ya know?**

**-Before we departed, in the labs, he came to ask me if I could give him my notes about a project and to wish me good luck. As I was leaving though, I saw this smile on his face, like he was up tos omething... I'm going to...**

**-There'll be no killing doctor, replied Lorne, revenge on the other hand, he added with a mischievous smile.**

**Radek understood, he was going to have his revenge.**

**-But first, we need to finish it here, Lorne was serious again.**

**-Okay.**

* * *

_**The evening. Lorne's quarters. Lorne's POV.**_

**Finally, my quarters, a hot shower... That sounds like heaven right about now! This day was the Crappiest day ever! Litteraly! I smell so bad I swear I heard someone faint just after passing right by me. I didn't stop to check though, went straight for my rooms. But I remember hearing a "urgh", then a moan and finally a loud thud, like someone hitting the floor.**

**DoctorZelenka wants to take revenge on Mckay. I think that's a good idea... well, I can't really take revenge on Col Sheppard, he's the one who sent me on his mission and he is my suerior, so...**

**"And so what?" said the little voice of revenge, vengeance...**

**oh, right, shower...

* * *

**

_**INTERLUDE**_

_**We will not go into a detailed description of the major's time in the shower, you know, physical description, for OBVIOUS reasons. I think there wouldbe too much "swooning" and/or "drooling over the screen or keyboard", and I am kind enough to spare you that!**_

_**Now either use your imagination (like me) or ask me to write about it.**_

_**If enough of you ask, maybe I'll do it...**_

_**KINKY POWA**_

_**Yours truly, Ladies.**_

_**END OF INTERLUDE

* * *

**_

**Radek Zelenka was going back to his quarters when he realised something was off. He had gone to see Rodney to tell him about his mission and how much he thought he was a petty man. Not telling him about the garbage wasn't really nice... However, Mckay had appeared genuinely surprised to hear about the incident.**

**Brushing it off, he got in the shower and started scrubbing... Funny, the shampoo smelled weird...**

**15 minutes later, Zelenka felt like a human being again...

* * *

**

**That had never happened before! No one had ever come inside his quarters without him knowing! Obviously someone had and had stolen some of his pigments he used for painting?! Yes, Evan Lorne was a painter and took pride in the fact that he made his own paint. Which meant pigments, powder, not actual tubes of paste... Sure it cost a bit more but lasted longer too! It's not like there was any "Michaels" or "BHV" nearby! **

**So red pigments were missing and he, as head of security, was going to investigate. Too bad he didn't have any dvds of NCIS or X-files... Could come in handy... Hey, you never know!

* * *

**

**Radek was furious. WHO had done THAT!!! Good god: What was he going to do?**

**He had tried to wash it many times, but it just wouldn't go away ! Surely there was a hat or a cap somewhere?! Anything?!**

**-Major Lorne?**

**-**_**Yes doc, what can I do for ya?**_** answered Evan over the radio**

**-I was wondering if you could come to my quarters, I could use your help...**

**-**_**Sure thing doc, everything okay?**_

**-Huh... no, not really. Do you by any chance, have a cap?**

**-**_**Ah... I dunno. Lemme check. You want me to bring it to you?**_

**-Yes, if you don't mind me borrowing it.**

**-**_**No, not at all... Did you shave your head doctor?**_

**-No, not really, but that's an idea! No, just... just come here as quickly as you can, please?**

**-**_**On my way, Evan sighed.**_

**Maybe if he shaved it... Yes, but people would notice and then he would look like an idiot. Oh boy, when he found the one who did that, he was going to pay for it dearly!

* * *

**

**Two minutes later, Major Evan Lorne was in front of Zelenka's quarters. Something had happened... But what?**

**And as soon as he looked at Radek, he knew two things:**

**-FIRST: He knew where his pigments were and what use the thief had found for it.**

**-SECOND: Why Radek Zelenka was in dire need of a hat.**

_**The poor scientist's hair was now dyed RED.**_

**-It looks good on ya doc, said Lorne before laughing, some much he was sure to break a few ribs.**


End file.
